


Present Threat Level: Birthday

by pluto



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-30
Updated: 2011-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pluto/pseuds/pluto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Birthdays don't mean much to turians. But they mean a lot, apparently, to certain human commanders...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Present Threat Level: Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> For firstblush, best friend and awesome sister!

Birthdays didn't mean much to turians. The approach of mandatory service; the end of mandatory service. A way to mark the years of one's career. So though Garrus knew it was Shepard's birthday, he didn't think much of it. Not until he ran into Kasumi in the mess and she said,

"So, what did you get the Commander? I bet it's something _really_ good." Her smile turned sly, became the smile she wore when she talked about a really good heist, or Keiji, or at times, Operative Taylor.

"Get the Commander?" he repeated blankly. Kasumi's laughter was like the tinkling of broken glass.

"For her birthday? You do know it's her birthday, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Why?"

"Oh no. Don't tell me…" Kasumi caught her bottom lip in her teeth. "You're going to be in so much trouble!"

She was enjoying herself entirely too much. Garrus made a noise of annoyance somewhere between a growl and a hiss. "Humans care that much about birthdays?"

Kasumi shrugged. "Of course. Even Joker got her something. Although it's probably a subscription to Fornax, come to think of it."

"Well, I'm sure she'll understand when the non-humans--"

"Oh no," Kasumi said, "Mordin. Well. I'd better not give that one away. But I helped Grunt acquire a very nice breastplate for her. Perfectly legally, of course." She giggled.

"Glad this is amusing you, thief," he said, bristling.

Kasumi was entirely unfazed. "Master thief to you." She put a hand to her chin. "But don't worry. If you're really nice to me, maybe I'll do you a favor. I may have something the Commander will like…"

He eyed her mistrustfully. "Thanks, but I don't need your help."

"I'm not asking for a kiss or anything. Although…" Her cheeks dimpled.

"No," Garrus said, flatly.

"It was worth a shot." She flashed her teeth at him. "Guess I'll just leave you to your horrible, horrible fate, then. But I forgot Keiji's birthday once…"

Garrus hesitated, annoyance turning to concern. If this one day meant that much to Shepard... Maybe he could convince Gardner to cook-- something. He winced. He didn't really know what she liked to eat. He didn't pay that much attention, since it wasn't anything he could stomach. He did have an extra bottle of--no, humans couldn't drink that. He--

"Hey, loverboy."

Mandibles flaring, he turned back to Kasumi. "What?"

"If you'll give this to Jacob, maybe I can help you out."

He stared at the flat thing in her hand. Some sort of thin folded sheet. There was a red ribbon tied around it, and the smell coming off it made his nose tickle. "What is it?" he said, suspiciously.

She arched her eyebrows, the coy smile returning. "You can ask, but I won't tell."

The folded sheet crinkled dryly as he snatched it out of her hand. "Fine."

"Fine," she echoed, lips curving gaily. "Come to the observation lounge when you're done. I should have everything ready by then."

He watched her all but skip away, and wondered if he was making a very big mistake.

#

"What is it?" Jacob regarded the thing in Garrus's hand like it was some sort of hissing vermin.

Garrus shrugged. "I'm just the messenger."

"Is that--rose perfume?"

Garrus shrugged again.

"You said it's from… Kasumi?"

"Look. It was this or get in trouble with Shepard. So if you wouldn't mind--"

"…Get in trouble with…" Jacob's eyebrows shot up. "Ohhhh, don't tell me you didn't get--"

"It doesn't mean anything to turians," Garrus said, defensively.

Jacob just nodded, and took the note from Garrus.

"I should just explain it to her," Garrus went on. "Shepard will understand."

Jacob nodded again, the way he might have nodded along with a highly armed crazy man. "Right. Of course she will."

"It can't be that important!"

"Hey, I don't know," Jacob said, holding up his hands. "I haven't known the Commander that long. Except…"

"Except?"

"Well, Joker told me about the time he forgot her birthday… and let's just say I'm not taking any chances. "

"But his name is _Joker_."

Jacob shrugged. "Your neck. I sent up a nice bottle of Terellian spiced rum this morning."

Garrus's mandibles twitched. He thought of the look Shepard got when she was really pissed. Worse, he thought of the look she got when she was disappointed.

He made a hasty exit.

#

Garrus tentatively took the bunch of bright red blooms from Kasumi, something digging into his fingers as he grasped the long stems. "Uh, very… lovely?" They smelled like the folded thing, itchy and cloying.

"Roses," Kasumi said, delight in her voice.

Garrus looked around the observation room. "How did you even get these…?"

"I have my ways."

"You're sure Shepard will like them?"

"Oh, yes. Didn't you do any research on humans, Garrus?"

Garrus recalled how wonderfully his past attempts at research had gone. Things had turned out, but not, exactly, thanks to his choice of music or liquor or--. Wincing, he shoved the memory away.

"Shepard doesn't seem like a, uh, rose person."

"Every girl is a rose person."

Garrus's skepticism deepened.

"Besides," Kasumi said, "It's better than turning up empty handed."

"I suppose…" He hesitated in front of the door. "It's just… If it means this much to her--. She's going to know I didn't think of these." He gestured with the flowers. "Not exactly my style."

Kasumi shrugged and glanced at her omni-tool. "It's roses or come up with something in… oh, half an hour before the commander comes down from her watch and sees you've completely forgotten to get her anything."

Garrus sagged. She was probably right. Kasumi was human. She would know Shepard better than he would, wouldn't she?

Still, as he left port observation, he couldn't help but feel wrong. The elevator opened up at his approach, but he didn't step on.

He stood in front of it, undecided, until EDI prodded him with a gentle question. And then he turned away, headed for the main battery instead. He had to have something. Something he could give her--the right gift, something that would actually mean something.

#

"Don't tell me. Calibrations."

Garrus jerked upright and onto his feet, quickly closing the container full of his belongings. He still had nothing. He flexed his hands and turned to face Shepard.

She stood just inside the battery, arms crossed over her chest. He cast a hasty look around the room, saw the roses Kasumi had given him discarded in one corner, looking all the worse for wear. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Oh, hey, Shepard."

"Garrus." She nodded. "Mind if I hide out here for a while?"

He all but rushed over to the corner where the roses lay, standing in front of them. "Of course not. I, ah--"

She went over to the container and dropped down on top of it with a sigh. "Let me tell you, Garrus, this has been the longest day."

"Oh?" he said.

"I'm sure you've heard it's my birthday."

Garrus felt his heart quicken in his chest. "Ah, well, see, about that, Shepard…" He tried to reach behind himself, subtly, to somehow retrieve the roses.

"I don't know what idiot let it get out, but now--you know Zaeed gave me some spent thermal sink from Jesse?" She shook her head.

Garrus began to feel his stomach sinking. Even Zaeed had gotten her a gift?

"And Gabby and Ken--lingerie. If you can believe it. Balls on that pair, I tell you. At least you'll get a laugh out of Kelly's present--I think--some book called 'the Joy of Interspecies Sex'. Illustrated, mind you. And well, I won't even get into what Mordin got me…"

"Uh, Shepard," Garrus blurted, interrupting her before he could feel any lower. Hastily, he retrieved the disheveled bouquet. "I… ah, these are for you, but…" He stared at the roses. His shoulders sagged. "Well, to tell the truth, they're from Kasumi. I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't realize."

Shepard frowned, looking from Garrus to the flowers. He wished he could sink through the floor. If only his enemies could see him now--

"Garrus," she said, severely, "Weren't you listening a second ago?"

"I--yeah. I think?"

"I'll bet it was Joker," she said, crossly. "One little joke on him and he never lets it go." She looked up at Garrus. Her scowl eased. She reached over, put her hand over his on the roses. Her mouth tugged crookedly to one side. Her voice was almost soft as she said, "I grew up mostly on the streets. Nobody gave a goddamn about your birthday there. If it wasn't for the official registry, I wouldn't even remember what day mine was. The gifts are sweet, but…" She shrugged. "Not necessary. At all. I'm just glad to be here on the Normandy and not someplace worse. With my crew--with my friends."

She eased the roses out of Garrus's grip, her fingers on his for longer than necessary. " _This_ is more than I ever expected to have."

He laughed, still awkwardly. "Kasumi--"

"I don't mean the roses," she said, setting them aside on the main console. She closed the space between them and brushed her mouth lightly, gently, against his.

"Oh." He blinked, surprised, touched. Pulled her close, nuzzling cheek to cheek. He felt her arms tighten around him, heard her breathing quicken.

"But if you really want to give me something…"

He laughed. "On it, Commander," he said. And then added: "Happy birthday, Shepard."

"Wait until it's your turn," she murmured back, grinning fiercely at him; threat or promise or both, he wasn't sure, and then he didn't care any more.


End file.
